Being able to deal with exam pressure is very important if you want to maximise your performance at college. You will often be required to remember a great deal of information in the run up to exams and your study skills will reflect how efficiently you memorise and recall information especially when you are performing under stress. Developing effective study techniques is very important and being able to memorise relevant information accurately, will help improve your chances of exam success.
Here are some memorisation tips that may help you prepare for college exams:
Study Regularly:
The best way to memorise information is by studying regularly. Trying to cram information the night before your end of term paper is due, is not advisable as you may not remember all the information you need. If you make a habit of studying frequently, you stand a much better chance of being able to recall the facts with ease. You will be much more able to deal with the pressures of an exam situation if you can recall the information as and when you need it.
Write Down a Short List of Key Points:
It is much better to memorise key points in preparation for an exam rather than trying to absorb vast amounts of information. It is important to ensure you recall information that has relevance to the question. An essay question that is focused around key points will have a clear structure and a focused argument. When you are studying, make sure you are memorising the most relevant information. Don’t expend energy where it isn’t needed.
Get Enough Sleep:
Getting regular sleep is the most natural way to boost your memory and concentration. A lack of sleep will leave you feeling tired, drained and unable to perform at your optimum level. Sitting up studying to the early hours of the morning will end up being more counterproductive for your exam preparation as tiredness will affect your ability to focus on the task at hand. Mental tiredness on the day of your exam, could prevent you from performing at your best and it should be avoided.
Eat a Balanced and Varied Diet:
Make sure you eat three main meals every day. It is all too easy to skip meals especially if you are busy and have a hectic schedule. This makes it even more important to eat regularly. If you have a heavy study workload, you will require a lot of energy to deal with it and you will need to ensure you eat food that has good nutritional value (and isn‘t too expensive!) Try to eat as varied a diet as possible and make sure you are getting the vitamins and minerals you require.
Thursday, 17 December 2009
How to Save Money
We always begin with the best of intentions when we say we are going to save more money. (For me, it usually starts off as a new years resolution that slowly phases itself out the more shopping I do!) Yes, it can be difficult to save money.
Not only do you need to budget for accommodation, food and general living expenses, you also need to remember birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions (and not forgetting Christmas as part of the expense equation). It is challenging to say the least!
How can we stay in control of our personal finances and avoid the most common pitfalls?
Don’t spend money that you don’t have:
Sounds like common sense doesn’t it? You would be surprised how often this is ignored. Many people have ended up getting into debt due to having easy access to credit. If we are to learn only one thing from the recession, it is this - do not exceed your budget and only spend money that is available to you.
It is all very well to put a new pair of shoes or a brand new watch on a credit card (IF you can afford to pay it back at a later date). Debts can easily mount up if you haven’t thought about how and when you will be able to pay them back. If you have more serious financial obligations (such as a mortgage) you must always prioritise these payments without exception!
Create a financial plan and stick to it:
Make way for discipline and willpower…they are your greatest allies when it comes to saving money. When you have a quiet moment, sit down with your partner and make a financial plan. This should include necessary expenditure (such as mortgage payments, food bills, etc).
These are the basic essentials. Once these needs are met and budgeted for accordingly, you can discuss other expenses. You may want a new kitchen or a new car, perhaps you want to redecorate, (the list goes on). Remember: what you want is not the same as what you need. If you cannot afford to have what you want, you must be disciplined enough to say no and instead say yes to what you need!
Try not to socialise too much:
It is very hard to say no to a friend when they have invited you out. We all try our best to please others and this again, makes it very hard to turn a friend down. Nobody likes to be restrained by a financial budget and we often say yes to invitations without thinking about whether or not our finances can support it.
There are ways to enjoy socialising on a budget that will not leave you strapped for cash. If you want to celebrate a birthday, you could always invite a few friends around and cook a meal. Rather than going to the cinema, rent a movie instead! You can still have fun. Life is what you make it!
Make a habit of saving regularly:
It is important to have savings in the bank so you are not caught off guard with any unplanned expenditure. If you make a habit of saving money, you will find that you will not need to rely on credit so much. If there is something you need to pay out for and you don’t want to put any extra strain on your budget, you should be able to rely on your savings.
If you don’t want to drain your current account, a credit card can be very handy for paying certain things (such as booking a flight, paying for a course, etc.) When you are spending money regularly on a credit card for items you don’t really need, that’s when spending becomes a problem. A credit card should always be used sparingly and it should not be a method of convenience for easy cash.
Not only do you need to budget for accommodation, food and general living expenses, you also need to remember birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions (and not forgetting Christmas as part of the expense equation). It is challenging to say the least!
How can we stay in control of our personal finances and avoid the most common pitfalls?
Don’t spend money that you don’t have:
Sounds like common sense doesn’t it? You would be surprised how often this is ignored. Many people have ended up getting into debt due to having easy access to credit. If we are to learn only one thing from the recession, it is this - do not exceed your budget and only spend money that is available to you.
It is all very well to put a new pair of shoes or a brand new watch on a credit card (IF you can afford to pay it back at a later date). Debts can easily mount up if you haven’t thought about how and when you will be able to pay them back. If you have more serious financial obligations (such as a mortgage) you must always prioritise these payments without exception!
Create a financial plan and stick to it:
Make way for discipline and willpower…they are your greatest allies when it comes to saving money. When you have a quiet moment, sit down with your partner and make a financial plan. This should include necessary expenditure (such as mortgage payments, food bills, etc).
These are the basic essentials. Once these needs are met and budgeted for accordingly, you can discuss other expenses. You may want a new kitchen or a new car, perhaps you want to redecorate, (the list goes on). Remember: what you want is not the same as what you need. If you cannot afford to have what you want, you must be disciplined enough to say no and instead say yes to what you need!
Try not to socialise too much:
It is very hard to say no to a friend when they have invited you out. We all try our best to please others and this again, makes it very hard to turn a friend down. Nobody likes to be restrained by a financial budget and we often say yes to invitations without thinking about whether or not our finances can support it.
There are ways to enjoy socialising on a budget that will not leave you strapped for cash. If you want to celebrate a birthday, you could always invite a few friends around and cook a meal. Rather than going to the cinema, rent a movie instead! You can still have fun. Life is what you make it!
Make a habit of saving regularly:
It is important to have savings in the bank so you are not caught off guard with any unplanned expenditure. If you make a habit of saving money, you will find that you will not need to rely on credit so much. If there is something you need to pay out for and you don’t want to put any extra strain on your budget, you should be able to rely on your savings.
If you don’t want to drain your current account, a credit card can be very handy for paying certain things (such as booking a flight, paying for a course, etc.) When you are spending money regularly on a credit card for items you don’t really need, that’s when spending becomes a problem. A credit card should always be used sparingly and it should not be a method of convenience for easy cash.
How to build lasting friendships
When it comes to friendship, it is always better to spend time with people who really care about you. Finding good friends who you can rely upon can be quite difficult. Online social networking has enabled us to keep in touch with friends from all over the world but in my opinion, it isn’t a worthy substitute for a true friendship.
Facebook is a prime example. Cyberspace creates an illusion that we have lots of friends (really they are contacts), but if we’ve had a bad day at work or we have a problem we need to talk about, meeting up for a coffee with someone you can talk to, can make all the difference.
What constitutes a good friendship?:
Honesty and Openness:
Honesty is essential if you want a friendship to be based on trust and respect. This will also help to bring you closer together if you both know you can be honest with each other. I have found that people in general have a lot of acquaintances and maybe only one or two close friends.
Friendships (like anything else) take a lot of hard work and there will always be good days and bad days to deal with. Everybody has their ‘ups and downs’ so to speak and it is important your friendship is mutually supportive and strong enough to see both of you through when you need it most!
If you want a good friend, you need to be a good friend:
I have known a lot of people who manipulate their friends towards their own objectives and then, one day, they cannot work out why they have no real honest friends they can talk to. I once had a friend who had this problem. He worked full time and was always commenting on how he didn’t have any friends or a social life.
As I listened, I was beginning to understand why this person had no friends - he actually had no intention of being a friend to anyone! As he worked through this problem, he was becoming more aware that he only spoke to people who he thought could bring him closer to achieving the goals he had set himself.
Instead of speaking to people who he thought could advance his career prospects, he changed his ways and started cultivating real friendships. He soon felt he was being accepted and appreciated for being himself as a consequence of treating other people better. He hasn’t looked back since!
Don’t burden each other with problems:
There is nothing that will sour a relationship faster than bending your friends ear about your problems. Don’t do it! You will chase them away for good if you do. Your friend will not feel valued or appreciated if you only speak to them when you have a problem. That isn’t what a friendship is about. It is great to be able to talk to someone about a problem that is getting you down but it can go too far sometimes! A friendship should be mutually supportive but if you feel dread when your friend calls your mobile phone or if you cringe when you see their email in your inbox, it could be an indication that something isn’t quite right in your friendship!
Respect:
If you respect your friends needs, they will respect your needs in turn. In order to keep the balance right in your friendship, give and take is very important. If you begin to take advantage of your friend, the relationship will not last very long. This applies to every kind of relationship.
If your friendship is based on mutual respect, you will find that you can rely upon each other without taking unfair advantage. Respect for one another is the most important aspect of any relationship and if you treat others in the way you would expect to be treated yourself, you shouldn’t go wrong!
Facebook is a prime example. Cyberspace creates an illusion that we have lots of friends (really they are contacts), but if we’ve had a bad day at work or we have a problem we need to talk about, meeting up for a coffee with someone you can talk to, can make all the difference.
What constitutes a good friendship?:
Honesty and Openness:
Honesty is essential if you want a friendship to be based on trust and respect. This will also help to bring you closer together if you both know you can be honest with each other. I have found that people in general have a lot of acquaintances and maybe only one or two close friends.
Friendships (like anything else) take a lot of hard work and there will always be good days and bad days to deal with. Everybody has their ‘ups and downs’ so to speak and it is important your friendship is mutually supportive and strong enough to see both of you through when you need it most!
If you want a good friend, you need to be a good friend:
I have known a lot of people who manipulate their friends towards their own objectives and then, one day, they cannot work out why they have no real honest friends they can talk to. I once had a friend who had this problem. He worked full time and was always commenting on how he didn’t have any friends or a social life.
As I listened, I was beginning to understand why this person had no friends - he actually had no intention of being a friend to anyone! As he worked through this problem, he was becoming more aware that he only spoke to people who he thought could bring him closer to achieving the goals he had set himself.
Instead of speaking to people who he thought could advance his career prospects, he changed his ways and started cultivating real friendships. He soon felt he was being accepted and appreciated for being himself as a consequence of treating other people better. He hasn’t looked back since!
Don’t burden each other with problems:
There is nothing that will sour a relationship faster than bending your friends ear about your problems. Don’t do it! You will chase them away for good if you do. Your friend will not feel valued or appreciated if you only speak to them when you have a problem. That isn’t what a friendship is about. It is great to be able to talk to someone about a problem that is getting you down but it can go too far sometimes! A friendship should be mutually supportive but if you feel dread when your friend calls your mobile phone or if you cringe when you see their email in your inbox, it could be an indication that something isn’t quite right in your friendship!
Respect:
If you respect your friends needs, they will respect your needs in turn. In order to keep the balance right in your friendship, give and take is very important. If you begin to take advantage of your friend, the relationship will not last very long. This applies to every kind of relationship.
If your friendship is based on mutual respect, you will find that you can rely upon each other without taking unfair advantage. Respect for one another is the most important aspect of any relationship and if you treat others in the way you would expect to be treated yourself, you shouldn’t go wrong!
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
Life Coaching: Realism V Idealism and How to Find the Balance.
Life coaching is still not generally understood by the vast majority of people today and it is still something of intrigue to people I speak to. What does life coaching do? Many people will not The answer is very simple. We all want to live our lives to the fullest. How do we do this? By being ourselves to the fullest! When I ask my clients what they feel they would like to change about their lives, the response is always the same. Everyone wants to change some aspect of themselves on a very fundamental level so their goals can be realised. From my experience, the most effective coaching experiences take place on the level of personal growth in which the client realises something about themselves that opens a door of unlimited opportunity. Fears and perceived limitations can cause individuals to shy away from experiencing and living the lives they deserve. I have found that these fears are usually based on an unrealistic perception of the client's current life situation. This then encouraged me to think about a very interesting and thought provoking question. How should we interpret the reality of our situation and its improvement? Is it better to be idealistic or realistic?
Are we more likely to succeed in changing our lives and accomplishing our goals if we are realistic? The answer to that question is: YES! Of course we will achieve our goals if we approach them from a constructive perspective. As a life coach, being realistic is the single most important aspect and practical approach to achieving our goals. How else can clarity and goal orientation be established? Without a strong foundation laid at the beginning of the coaching process, there will be a reduced chance of actually achieving an outcome that is effective and long lasting. There also comes a point in the life coaching process when the ‘reality check’ approach begins to lose its appeal. When does realism block the progress to actually making the changes necessary to accomplishing our goals? (Believe me, this can happen!) There is a stumbling block waiting around the corner which can steal our motivation and inspiration for wanting to continue with life coaching. Without our idealism, how do we find the driving force which keeps us motivated on the road towards change?
Visualisation, imagination and projection can never be underestimated or taken for granted when embarking on the life coaching journey. Having dreams and ideas are instrumental to creating the success we want. Has anyone ever said to you ‘Oh, you’re such a dreamer!’ (That’s my favourite one!) People always used to say that to me in my younger years and I used to reply by saying, ‘Why, yes I am, thank you.’ I didn’t see it as a negative criticism as I knew my best ideas and goals came from my ability to imagine the possibilities. Who doesn’t like to dream? Being a dreamer is fine - as long as you have the dream anchored in what you can realistically achieve. Never give up a dream. Find a way to turn it into a reality by adopting a realistic approach which will ensure success. No matter what the obstacle is, you can always find a way to overcome it as long as you approach its accomplishment realistically. Then, the skies the limit! Life coaching success is anchored in realism and it is magically brought to life with an intention which holds some aspect of our idealism. It is then possible to live our lives to the fullest as we have found the magic formula that keeps us on the fast-track to lasting and continued success.
© Christina McDonald 2009.
Are we more likely to succeed in changing our lives and accomplishing our goals if we are realistic? The answer to that question is: YES! Of course we will achieve our goals if we approach them from a constructive perspective. As a life coach, being realistic is the single most important aspect and practical approach to achieving our goals. How else can clarity and goal orientation be established? Without a strong foundation laid at the beginning of the coaching process, there will be a reduced chance of actually achieving an outcome that is effective and long lasting. There also comes a point in the life coaching process when the ‘reality check’ approach begins to lose its appeal. When does realism block the progress to actually making the changes necessary to accomplishing our goals? (Believe me, this can happen!) There is a stumbling block waiting around the corner which can steal our motivation and inspiration for wanting to continue with life coaching. Without our idealism, how do we find the driving force which keeps us motivated on the road towards change?
Visualisation, imagination and projection can never be underestimated or taken for granted when embarking on the life coaching journey. Having dreams and ideas are instrumental to creating the success we want. Has anyone ever said to you ‘Oh, you’re such a dreamer!’ (That’s my favourite one!) People always used to say that to me in my younger years and I used to reply by saying, ‘Why, yes I am, thank you.’ I didn’t see it as a negative criticism as I knew my best ideas and goals came from my ability to imagine the possibilities. Who doesn’t like to dream? Being a dreamer is fine - as long as you have the dream anchored in what you can realistically achieve. Never give up a dream. Find a way to turn it into a reality by adopting a realistic approach which will ensure success. No matter what the obstacle is, you can always find a way to overcome it as long as you approach its accomplishment realistically. Then, the skies the limit! Life coaching success is anchored in realism and it is magically brought to life with an intention which holds some aspect of our idealism. It is then possible to live our lives to the fullest as we have found the magic formula that keeps us on the fast-track to lasting and continued success.
© Christina McDonald 2009.
Saturday, 5 December 2009
The difference between knowledge and common sense
The difference between knowledge and common sense can be defined within their relative contexts. Knowledge can be accumulated over a period of time. Throughout our lives, we never stop learning. Everyday can bring new and challenging situations into our lives and we have the potential to learn from these experiences. Common sense is an intuitive response. It is found in the ability to analyse a situation from the most logical perspective.
What is intelligence?:
Intelligence is our ability to perceive the world around us. Being able to use the intelligence we have been given can sometimes be seen as our ability to use our common sense - our most instinctive powers of reasoning. Intelligence and common sense are both a product of our evolving consciousness. This can be seen as a reflection of the collective conscious experience. Consciousness and intelligence are both one and the same. The extent to which someone uses their common sense depends on their state of awareness.
Conditioned experiences of intelligence:
From a very young age, we begin the life long process of learning. This begins within the family. With guidance from our parents, we learn the difference between right and wrong. As we learn, we are being conditioned with information that helps us to become familiar with what is accepted.
As soon as something becomes widely accepted, it becomes validated. This doesn't necessarily mean it is right as a consequence. What we value, can alter over time. Life is effectively conditioned by our own personal experiences which is why it is important to keep our perspectives open to change.
Interpreting knowledge:
The more experiences we have throughout life, the more we can potentially learn from them. It is not about how much knowledge we have gained. What matters is how we choose to interpret that knowledge for ourselves. What does it mean to you? We may not agree with everything we have been taught nor should we feel inclined to do so. Blind acceptance is not conducive to the creation of an inquiring mind. Analysis is an imperative if we are to form our own opinions and beliefs.
Common sense and awareness:
The more experiences we have, the easier it becomes to relate our knowledge to new situations. Common sense helps us to practically apply the knowledge we have. The more aware we are, the easier it will be to see the best solution. Even without many life experiences under our belt, it is still possible to approach situations from a practical perspective. Creativity, combined with a logical reasoning ability can become even more effective when it is channelled from a conscious perspective.
What is intelligence?:
Intelligence is our ability to perceive the world around us. Being able to use the intelligence we have been given can sometimes be seen as our ability to use our common sense - our most instinctive powers of reasoning. Intelligence and common sense are both a product of our evolving consciousness. This can be seen as a reflection of the collective conscious experience. Consciousness and intelligence are both one and the same. The extent to which someone uses their common sense depends on their state of awareness.
Conditioned experiences of intelligence:
From a very young age, we begin the life long process of learning. This begins within the family. With guidance from our parents, we learn the difference between right and wrong. As we learn, we are being conditioned with information that helps us to become familiar with what is accepted.
As soon as something becomes widely accepted, it becomes validated. This doesn't necessarily mean it is right as a consequence. What we value, can alter over time. Life is effectively conditioned by our own personal experiences which is why it is important to keep our perspectives open to change.
Interpreting knowledge:
The more experiences we have throughout life, the more we can potentially learn from them. It is not about how much knowledge we have gained. What matters is how we choose to interpret that knowledge for ourselves. What does it mean to you? We may not agree with everything we have been taught nor should we feel inclined to do so. Blind acceptance is not conducive to the creation of an inquiring mind. Analysis is an imperative if we are to form our own opinions and beliefs.
Common sense and awareness:
The more experiences we have, the easier it becomes to relate our knowledge to new situations. Common sense helps us to practically apply the knowledge we have. The more aware we are, the easier it will be to see the best solution. Even without many life experiences under our belt, it is still possible to approach situations from a practical perspective. Creativity, combined with a logical reasoning ability can become even more effective when it is channelled from a conscious perspective.
Friday, 4 December 2009
Health - The Importance of listening to the body
Listening to the body provides us with enough insight to heal ourselves according to what we need. I have been interested in holistic health for many years. I recently trained as a reiki master and teacher and I always believed that we have the potential to heal ourselves. It begins very simply by understanding how mind and body interact as one. If we can understand health problems from the perspective of having an imbalance in energy, it may become easier to understand how the body functions. Our interpretation of the world and how we react emotionally can directly affect the physical body. Mind, body and spirit function as one collective entity influencing health on multiple levels. For example, if we have been working very hard and have not taken adequate rest, we often find ourselves stretching our resources to the extreme. The body can then become ill as a consequence. An examination of the chakra system holds the key to understanding how our health is governed by the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual principles of wellbeing.
As I worked through the first and second degrees of reiki, I spent a lot of time on self-treatments and becoming used to working with energy. After a lot of practice, I could easily be guided intuitively to areas in myself were I needed to apply treatment. I was beginning to respond to my body intuitively and as soon as I did that, my health and my emotional wellbeing began to improve. I was becoming more in touch with myself and I stopped getting colds and flu. I always used to fall prey to illness before I started reiki (especially around Christmas) and now it is a rare occurrence. I started to rest more and I began to take life at a slower pace which was a strange experience for me at the time! I had been so used to rushing around and it was no wonder I was exhausted. An increase of awareness can enable our health to improve. First, we need to allow ourselves to slow down!
It isn't always easy to take things slowly of course. We live more stressful lives today and we have deadlines to meet and things to do. I have often found it is our ability to prioritse matters in importance which can help us to eliminate unnnessary stress. The body can only deal with so much and it is very important to make sure we have not taken on too much (or taken on the wrong things). When stressful situations begin to take their tolle on our health, we have obviously ignored the warning signs. What are they? Insomnia, heart palpitations, hypertension, anxiety, headaches, inability to concentrate, sweating, hot flushes, etc. As soon as these symptoms appear, it is time to address the underlying cause before it is allowed to escalate. Early detection of stress is crucial if we value our health. At this stage, we need to listen. The body is healthy when all aspects work together in harmony. If there is an imbalance of any kind, we need to address it promptly to ensure our health remains as it should!
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
As I worked through the first and second degrees of reiki, I spent a lot of time on self-treatments and becoming used to working with energy. After a lot of practice, I could easily be guided intuitively to areas in myself were I needed to apply treatment. I was beginning to respond to my body intuitively and as soon as I did that, my health and my emotional wellbeing began to improve. I was becoming more in touch with myself and I stopped getting colds and flu. I always used to fall prey to illness before I started reiki (especially around Christmas) and now it is a rare occurrence. I started to rest more and I began to take life at a slower pace which was a strange experience for me at the time! I had been so used to rushing around and it was no wonder I was exhausted. An increase of awareness can enable our health to improve. First, we need to allow ourselves to slow down!
It isn't always easy to take things slowly of course. We live more stressful lives today and we have deadlines to meet and things to do. I have often found it is our ability to prioritse matters in importance which can help us to eliminate unnnessary stress. The body can only deal with so much and it is very important to make sure we have not taken on too much (or taken on the wrong things). When stressful situations begin to take their tolle on our health, we have obviously ignored the warning signs. What are they? Insomnia, heart palpitations, hypertension, anxiety, headaches, inability to concentrate, sweating, hot flushes, etc. As soon as these symptoms appear, it is time to address the underlying cause before it is allowed to escalate. Early detection of stress is crucial if we value our health. At this stage, we need to listen. The body is healthy when all aspects work together in harmony. If there is an imbalance of any kind, we need to address it promptly to ensure our health remains as it should!
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Do meditation and psychotherapy go hand in hand?
Practicing meditation is the foundation for a relaxed and calm mind. If the mind is healthy, the physical body will also be healthy. What does it mean to have a healthy mind? The answer is actually very simple. The mind is a tool (which if used wisely) can be a tremendous asset. Problems begin to arise when thinking takes over completely and disconnects us from being in the moment. If the mind takes over completely, we lose control over our thoughts and we also lose our ability to stay calm. Problems can then begin to occur as a consequence of losing that stable foundation within ourselves. I started meditating regularly five years ago and since then, I have become so much more grounded and centred. Buddhist philosophy teaches us to be mindful of the present moment. People tend to live in a future projected existence which means there is little room for contentment.
Rather than allowing ourselves to be rocked relentlessly by tumultuous emotions, meditation helps to keep our attention focused on the here and now which reduces emotional disturbance. The mind is anchored in the present which means there is a better chance of being able to deal with any problems we may face. Within psychotherapy, these principles can be easily applied to working through personal difficulties. Meditation and mindfulness can be used for prevention and cure when it comes to approaching and dealing with a wide variety of psychological problems as it can help us to manage the emotional content of our lives through an enlightened perspective. Some psychological issues are fuelled by a perceived feeling of lack within ourselves and it is possible for physical illness to manifest as a consequence (such as bulimia and anorexia).
It is the mind's perception that is telling us we are not enough and so we go on and on trying to achieve the unobtainable. Desire is seen in Buddhism as contributing to human suffering and it is only when we relinquish desire that we can begin to find the contentment we seek. If we can learn to accept that we are enough as we are and can be happy with what we have in life, emotional turmoil has the potential to become greatly reduced. If this principle is applied to psychotherapy, the chances for long term success are greatly increased. If we imagine a ship at sea in the middle of a storm without an anchor, it will be thrown around without mercy by the waves. If the ship is anchored in a storm, there is less chance of the ship being thrown around by the sea. The same principle can be applied to meditation and the human mind. Meditation is the anchor. Mind is the sea. Like the sea, the mind has extraordinary depths and uncharted territory to explore!
If therapeutic techniques are harnessed with the intention of helping clients to practice mindfulness in their daily lives, psychotherapy could begin a new and exciting chapter. I believe psychotherapy is missing this key ingredient and until it is applied, people will only be allowed to progress forward as far as their personal issues will let them. Until a general realisation is accepted which conveys we are more than are thoughts and what we choose to identify with in life, progress will always be limited. Problems would not be able to take such a powerful hold over people's lives and solutions would become more apparent. So many people are identified with suffering without understanding the greater purpose as to why. Meditation and mindfulness brings clarity and understanding to every challenging situation we encounter. As soon as we realise the purpose behind suffering, we can then transcend it.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Rather than allowing ourselves to be rocked relentlessly by tumultuous emotions, meditation helps to keep our attention focused on the here and now which reduces emotional disturbance. The mind is anchored in the present which means there is a better chance of being able to deal with any problems we may face. Within psychotherapy, these principles can be easily applied to working through personal difficulties. Meditation and mindfulness can be used for prevention and cure when it comes to approaching and dealing with a wide variety of psychological problems as it can help us to manage the emotional content of our lives through an enlightened perspective. Some psychological issues are fuelled by a perceived feeling of lack within ourselves and it is possible for physical illness to manifest as a consequence (such as bulimia and anorexia).
It is the mind's perception that is telling us we are not enough and so we go on and on trying to achieve the unobtainable. Desire is seen in Buddhism as contributing to human suffering and it is only when we relinquish desire that we can begin to find the contentment we seek. If we can learn to accept that we are enough as we are and can be happy with what we have in life, emotional turmoil has the potential to become greatly reduced. If this principle is applied to psychotherapy, the chances for long term success are greatly increased. If we imagine a ship at sea in the middle of a storm without an anchor, it will be thrown around without mercy by the waves. If the ship is anchored in a storm, there is less chance of the ship being thrown around by the sea. The same principle can be applied to meditation and the human mind. Meditation is the anchor. Mind is the sea. Like the sea, the mind has extraordinary depths and uncharted territory to explore!
If therapeutic techniques are harnessed with the intention of helping clients to practice mindfulness in their daily lives, psychotherapy could begin a new and exciting chapter. I believe psychotherapy is missing this key ingredient and until it is applied, people will only be allowed to progress forward as far as their personal issues will let them. Until a general realisation is accepted which conveys we are more than are thoughts and what we choose to identify with in life, progress will always be limited. Problems would not be able to take such a powerful hold over people's lives and solutions would become more apparent. So many people are identified with suffering without understanding the greater purpose as to why. Meditation and mindfulness brings clarity and understanding to every challenging situation we encounter. As soon as we realise the purpose behind suffering, we can then transcend it.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
The virtues of hypnotherapy...
The benefits of hypnotherapy should not be underestimated. Hypnosis can be used for a wide variety for problems and it has become more recognised by the medical profession in recent years. Most people are generally familiar with stage hypnosis and it unfortunately does not provide the most accurate insights of the subject due to the fact that individuals are seen losing control of themselves on stage.
Contrary to popular beliefs, you do not lose control. You are conscious of your surroundings at all times and your awareness is increased. I feel people can be quite sceptical about hypnotherapy as a consequence of receiving a distorted impression conveyed by stage hypnosis. When applied correctly, hypnotherapy can have long term benefits for health, wellbeing and happiness.
What is hypnotherapy?:
When you are hypnotised, it simply means you have entered a deeply relaxed state in which you become more receptive to positive suggestions. This feeling can be compared to how you feel just before you drift off to sleep at night.
In the hypnotic state, the conscious mind is temporarily suspended and it becomes easier to focus awareness on the subconscious mind. It is within this part of the mind, where our behaviour and reactions are governed.
Conditioning:
Our experiences have the ability to influence our behaviour. This is known as conditioning. Previously conditioned responses and reactions to our personal experiences are stored within the subconscious mind. The unconscious mind stores a vast amount of information which is not readily accessible to the conscious mind and it can be accessed under hypnosis.
Hypnosis can reduce the effects of stress and anxiety and it can help create a beneficial change as to how you approach your life. When you learn to become deeply relaxed, you are less likely to succumb to the effects of stress.
Smoking Cessation:
Hypnotherapy can help you overcome addictive behaviour and it has helped many people to quit smoking. It is possible to change conditioned behaviour in relation to smoking and when you are deeply relaxed under hypnosis, the subconscious mind will be more receptive to positive suggestions. These suggestions, if accepted by the subconscious mind effectively ‘rewire’ thinking in relation to smoking. This is also known as NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and it is often used in conjunction with hypnotherapy.
Fears and Phobias:
Hypnotherapy can address subconscious reasons behind the existence of a phobia. If a hypnotherapist asks focused questions as to why a subject has a specific reaction to something, the subject will be more likely to respond with an accurate insight as to why they react in a certain way. As soon as the subject communicates with their subconscious mind, they are more able to address the cause and find a solution which cures the fear behind the phobia.
Self empowerment:
It can also increase your confidence and your potential for personal growth. The reason it can work so well is related to your belief in the benefits of hypnotherapy. If you believe hypnotherapy will work, it will! Hypnotherapy works when you readily accept positive suggestions under hypnosis. Hypnosis is simply a deeply relaxed state. Hypnotherapy is a wonderful tool for self empowerment if you understand how it works. If you are looking for the solution as to why hypnotherapy works, it is all down to you!
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Contrary to popular beliefs, you do not lose control. You are conscious of your surroundings at all times and your awareness is increased. I feel people can be quite sceptical about hypnotherapy as a consequence of receiving a distorted impression conveyed by stage hypnosis. When applied correctly, hypnotherapy can have long term benefits for health, wellbeing and happiness.
What is hypnotherapy?:
When you are hypnotised, it simply means you have entered a deeply relaxed state in which you become more receptive to positive suggestions. This feeling can be compared to how you feel just before you drift off to sleep at night.
In the hypnotic state, the conscious mind is temporarily suspended and it becomes easier to focus awareness on the subconscious mind. It is within this part of the mind, where our behaviour and reactions are governed.
Conditioning:
Our experiences have the ability to influence our behaviour. This is known as conditioning. Previously conditioned responses and reactions to our personal experiences are stored within the subconscious mind. The unconscious mind stores a vast amount of information which is not readily accessible to the conscious mind and it can be accessed under hypnosis.
Hypnosis can reduce the effects of stress and anxiety and it can help create a beneficial change as to how you approach your life. When you learn to become deeply relaxed, you are less likely to succumb to the effects of stress.
Smoking Cessation:
Hypnotherapy can help you overcome addictive behaviour and it has helped many people to quit smoking. It is possible to change conditioned behaviour in relation to smoking and when you are deeply relaxed under hypnosis, the subconscious mind will be more receptive to positive suggestions. These suggestions, if accepted by the subconscious mind effectively ‘rewire’ thinking in relation to smoking. This is also known as NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and it is often used in conjunction with hypnotherapy.
Fears and Phobias:
Hypnotherapy can address subconscious reasons behind the existence of a phobia. If a hypnotherapist asks focused questions as to why a subject has a specific reaction to something, the subject will be more likely to respond with an accurate insight as to why they react in a certain way. As soon as the subject communicates with their subconscious mind, they are more able to address the cause and find a solution which cures the fear behind the phobia.
Self empowerment:
It can also increase your confidence and your potential for personal growth. The reason it can work so well is related to your belief in the benefits of hypnotherapy. If you believe hypnotherapy will work, it will! Hypnotherapy works when you readily accept positive suggestions under hypnosis. Hypnosis is simply a deeply relaxed state. Hypnotherapy is a wonderful tool for self empowerment if you understand how it works. If you are looking for the solution as to why hypnotherapy works, it is all down to you!
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
How to make your stepchild feel loved and secure
Children need to feel they are loved and accepted by the people who are closest to them. Within the blended family, a step parent has the responsibility of developing a secure and loving relationship with their stepchildren. Relationships of this nature need a lot of work and it requires a parent to be sensitive to their stepchild's needs. This isn't always easy as the daily routines of family life can be very busy and hectic. Sometimes you may feel as though you are struggling to balance work and home life which could mean you end up compromising valuable time with your family. It is therefore important to set aside time for family so you can give yourself the best possible chance to bond with your stepchild.
The following information may help you to take positive steps towards bonding with your stepchild:
Make sure the time you spend with your stepchild is quality time:
It is important that you are not distracted when you spend time with your stepchildren. As soon as your working week is over, leave the office behind until Monday morning. Work and home life must be organised and have a clearly defined structure especially if there is a lot going on. Your children will be aware if you are preoccupied with something else and they may begin to feel that you are not interested in being with them. A stepchild in particular will need to feel that they are your number one priority as their need for reassurance will be greater within a blended family situation.
Tell your stepchild you are there for them:
Your stepchildren will need to feel they can approach you with any concerns they may have. This means you need to be open and approachable. Children also have a lot of issues to contend with at school such as bullying, peer pressure and subject performance. As a parent, you need to encourage your stepchild to speak to you about any concerns they have no matter what they are. Similarly, if your stepchild has broken a plate or cup in the kitchen or accidentally broken the window in the house of the next door neighbour, they should feel they can confide in you to an extent without their step parent being overly harsh. Accidents happen!
Don't criticise your stepchild unduly:
We cannot learn if we do not make mistakes. Part of that process is being allowed to make mistakes. Growing up is challenging enough and it becomes even more difficult if a child feels they cannot make any mistakes without being chastised. Some of the most valuable life lessons result from making mistakes. What counts as a mistake is a matter of interpretation. If a parent has been conditioned by their own parents to believe all mistakes are bad, they will inevitably pass these ideas on to their children. In order to help a stepchild feel secure, try not to let any of your own negative beliefs influence your stepchild and approach every situation from an unbiased perspective.
Make sure your stepchild is treated equally to your own children:
Creating a feeling of equality between children is an important factor to consider within a blended family situation. Any disputes arising between siblings should be met with a fair and just reaction from both parents. The relationship between siblings will become closer if both are treated in the same way. Parents should be working together to create harmony within the blended family and that will only happen if the parents work together to establish relationships that are reciprocal.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
The following information may help you to take positive steps towards bonding with your stepchild:
Make sure the time you spend with your stepchild is quality time:
It is important that you are not distracted when you spend time with your stepchildren. As soon as your working week is over, leave the office behind until Monday morning. Work and home life must be organised and have a clearly defined structure especially if there is a lot going on. Your children will be aware if you are preoccupied with something else and they may begin to feel that you are not interested in being with them. A stepchild in particular will need to feel that they are your number one priority as their need for reassurance will be greater within a blended family situation.
Tell your stepchild you are there for them:
Your stepchildren will need to feel they can approach you with any concerns they may have. This means you need to be open and approachable. Children also have a lot of issues to contend with at school such as bullying, peer pressure and subject performance. As a parent, you need to encourage your stepchild to speak to you about any concerns they have no matter what they are. Similarly, if your stepchild has broken a plate or cup in the kitchen or accidentally broken the window in the house of the next door neighbour, they should feel they can confide in you to an extent without their step parent being overly harsh. Accidents happen!
Don't criticise your stepchild unduly:
We cannot learn if we do not make mistakes. Part of that process is being allowed to make mistakes. Growing up is challenging enough and it becomes even more difficult if a child feels they cannot make any mistakes without being chastised. Some of the most valuable life lessons result from making mistakes. What counts as a mistake is a matter of interpretation. If a parent has been conditioned by their own parents to believe all mistakes are bad, they will inevitably pass these ideas on to their children. In order to help a stepchild feel secure, try not to let any of your own negative beliefs influence your stepchild and approach every situation from an unbiased perspective.
Make sure your stepchild is treated equally to your own children:
Creating a feeling of equality between children is an important factor to consider within a blended family situation. Any disputes arising between siblings should be met with a fair and just reaction from both parents. The relationship between siblings will become closer if both are treated in the same way. Parents should be working together to create harmony within the blended family and that will only happen if the parents work together to establish relationships that are reciprocal.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Family and Relationships: How to befriend your stepchild
Befriending your stepchild for the first time is very significant. You may feel decidedly nervous with anticipation before greeting your stepchild which is to be expected. If this is your first experience of parenting, you will no doubt be looking forward to the beginning of a new chapter in your life. For a prospective stepchild, the situation may be very different.
It may be emotionally challenging for your stepchild at first as they may not have adjusted to the idea of having a step parent. This doesn't mean to say they will not come to terms with it given time. As a parental figure coming into a new family situation, it will take time and perseverance to build rapport with your stepchild.
The following tips will hopefully provide you with some insights as to how you can befriend your stepchild:
Allow the relationship with your stepchild to develop gradually:
The quality and strength of a relationship is determined by how much time and effort you are willing to invest in it. Do not expect a relationship with your stepchild to develop suddenly. You may feel eager to get to know your stepchild but you should not impose yourself unwillingly. If there is resistance initially, do not push the boundaries too much. Your stepchild will eventually come to you if you give them the freedom to do so. If you are open and approachable, they will respond to you soon enough.
Get to know your stepchild:
Building a successful relationship with your stepchild requires you to bond with them. What are their interests and hobbies? Are they working on any projects at school? Finding common ground with your stepchild is one of the key ways to build a positive foundation for a relationship. Place emphasis on developing a friendship with your stepchild. Assuming a parental role is not necessarily the most suitable choice when entering into a new relationship with a stepchild for the first time as it may encourage a child to identify with your role rather than with you as a person.
Don't try to replace your stepchild's biological mother or father:
Don't feel you need to compete with your stepchild's natural parent. You are an individual and you will find your own unique way to contribute to the enrichment of your stepchild's life. You may feel self conscious to begin with and it will be natural to compare yourself to your stepchild's natural parents. Believe in yourself and in your own ability to do a good job. If you are committed to the relationship with your stepchild and you are prepared for the good times as well as the difficult, you will succeed in your goal!
Show respect for your stepchild's relationship with their biological parent:
It is not wise to criticise your stepchild's biological parent in their presence. This could create resentment and distrust within your stepchild towards you. The relationship your stepchild has with their biological parent, should be allowed to peacefully co-exist with your own relationship with them. The quality of a child's life has the potential to flourish if relationships between parents remain cordial and mutually supportive. If parents and step parents can build positive relationships with each other, they are also creating positive conditions that will continue to nurture and support their child. That is the highest priority.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
It may be emotionally challenging for your stepchild at first as they may not have adjusted to the idea of having a step parent. This doesn't mean to say they will not come to terms with it given time. As a parental figure coming into a new family situation, it will take time and perseverance to build rapport with your stepchild.
The following tips will hopefully provide you with some insights as to how you can befriend your stepchild:
Allow the relationship with your stepchild to develop gradually:
The quality and strength of a relationship is determined by how much time and effort you are willing to invest in it. Do not expect a relationship with your stepchild to develop suddenly. You may feel eager to get to know your stepchild but you should not impose yourself unwillingly. If there is resistance initially, do not push the boundaries too much. Your stepchild will eventually come to you if you give them the freedom to do so. If you are open and approachable, they will respond to you soon enough.
Get to know your stepchild:
Building a successful relationship with your stepchild requires you to bond with them. What are their interests and hobbies? Are they working on any projects at school? Finding common ground with your stepchild is one of the key ways to build a positive foundation for a relationship. Place emphasis on developing a friendship with your stepchild. Assuming a parental role is not necessarily the most suitable choice when entering into a new relationship with a stepchild for the first time as it may encourage a child to identify with your role rather than with you as a person.
Don't try to replace your stepchild's biological mother or father:
Don't feel you need to compete with your stepchild's natural parent. You are an individual and you will find your own unique way to contribute to the enrichment of your stepchild's life. You may feel self conscious to begin with and it will be natural to compare yourself to your stepchild's natural parents. Believe in yourself and in your own ability to do a good job. If you are committed to the relationship with your stepchild and you are prepared for the good times as well as the difficult, you will succeed in your goal!
Show respect for your stepchild's relationship with their biological parent:
It is not wise to criticise your stepchild's biological parent in their presence. This could create resentment and distrust within your stepchild towards you. The relationship your stepchild has with their biological parent, should be allowed to peacefully co-exist with your own relationship with them. The quality of a child's life has the potential to flourish if relationships between parents remain cordial and mutually supportive. If parents and step parents can build positive relationships with each other, they are also creating positive conditions that will continue to nurture and support their child. That is the highest priority.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
How to save money at college
Saving money at college is easier than you would imagine. Learning to manage your finances at college will teach you everything you need to know in regards to looking after a budget successfully. There are ways in which you can prevent unnecessary expenditure if you take the time to prioritise your finances.
Your most essential considerations will always be your accommodation and food expenses and it is important you have a basic financial plan sorted out with these ideas in mind before you leave for college.
Create a weekly budget:
If you adhere to a weekly budget, you will have a much better chance of saving money. Try and avoid impulse purchases as that will drain your finances and throw your budget into disarray. Your ability to keep to a budget will be difficult at first but it will become easier to become more disciplined as time goes on. When you see the benefits of planning your finances in this way, you will find that you will be able to save more money with minimal effort.
Plan your accommodation expenditure:
It is important you create a strategy for your accommodation costs as this will be one of your major expenses during your time at college. Rather than paying rent on private accommodation, you should consider moving into student halls as the cost will often be cheaper. Some student halls also include residential catering and this would help you to save money on food costs during your time at college. Alternatively, you can also save money if you share accommodation with friends which should help to keep rental costs to a minimum.
Don’t eat out when you can eat in:
It is much better to buy food at a cheaper price in the supermarket and cook it at home rather than eating out in restaurants. Your student loan needs to last as long as possible and if you learn to economise properly on food, you will be able to save more. On no account should you skip meals to save money. You need energy! You can still eat nutritious food on a budget. You will be able to save on your weekly food bill if you cook your own meals. Your student days are the best time to learn to cook!
Buy study materials second hand:
Purchasing student study materials is another source of expense. There is no need to pay the full price for course study books. Try to buy your books second hand if possible or, if you know a student who has finished their course, they may be able to sell their books to you for a lower price than you would pay in a bookshop. There is normally a student library on campus which should have some of the books you need for your course. If not, check out the libraries in your local area instead and you should find what you need.
Find some part-time work:
This should help to subsidise your student loan as well as bring in some extra income. If you are going to work during your time at college, make sure it does not take up too much of your time as you will need to devote a great deal of energy to your studies. Work should not negatively interfere with your commitments. If it is at all possible, look for work that is related to your course degree so you can gain some valuable work experience as well as extra money.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Your most essential considerations will always be your accommodation and food expenses and it is important you have a basic financial plan sorted out with these ideas in mind before you leave for college.
Create a weekly budget:
If you adhere to a weekly budget, you will have a much better chance of saving money. Try and avoid impulse purchases as that will drain your finances and throw your budget into disarray. Your ability to keep to a budget will be difficult at first but it will become easier to become more disciplined as time goes on. When you see the benefits of planning your finances in this way, you will find that you will be able to save more money with minimal effort.
Plan your accommodation expenditure:
It is important you create a strategy for your accommodation costs as this will be one of your major expenses during your time at college. Rather than paying rent on private accommodation, you should consider moving into student halls as the cost will often be cheaper. Some student halls also include residential catering and this would help you to save money on food costs during your time at college. Alternatively, you can also save money if you share accommodation with friends which should help to keep rental costs to a minimum.
Don’t eat out when you can eat in:
It is much better to buy food at a cheaper price in the supermarket and cook it at home rather than eating out in restaurants. Your student loan needs to last as long as possible and if you learn to economise properly on food, you will be able to save more. On no account should you skip meals to save money. You need energy! You can still eat nutritious food on a budget. You will be able to save on your weekly food bill if you cook your own meals. Your student days are the best time to learn to cook!
Buy study materials second hand:
Purchasing student study materials is another source of expense. There is no need to pay the full price for course study books. Try to buy your books second hand if possible or, if you know a student who has finished their course, they may be able to sell their books to you for a lower price than you would pay in a bookshop. There is normally a student library on campus which should have some of the books you need for your course. If not, check out the libraries in your local area instead and you should find what you need.
Find some part-time work:
This should help to subsidise your student loan as well as bring in some extra income. If you are going to work during your time at college, make sure it does not take up too much of your time as you will need to devote a great deal of energy to your studies. Work should not negatively interfere with your commitments. If it is at all possible, look for work that is related to your course degree so you can gain some valuable work experience as well as extra money.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
What to do if you are failing a class at college...
If you are failing a class in college, it can be a very stressful experience indeed. You may feel as though you want to give up entirely especially if you have already contributed a lot of effort and hard work into achieving good grades.
Rather than focusing on your feelings of frustration, take a step back and look at the possible reasons as to why you may be failing. There could be many unexplored reasons as to why your performance is suffering and it is important to take the time to find out what the cause may be.
The following tips may help you to evaluate the situation:
Time Management:
Make sure you spend an equal amount of time studying your subject topics. If a class is particularly difficult, it is more desirable to prioritise studying subjects you enjoy more. If you are not enjoying the class, it may be one of the reasons why you are not performing as well as you should be. If this is the case, try and focus more time on the difficult subject. Your grades may improve if you devote more time to understanding the more difficult elements of the course.
Talk to your course tutor:
If you are finding the course very difficult, speak to your tutor about it as soon as you can and tell them you are having a hard time understanding certain aspects of the course. Your tutor may be able to provide more support for you if you ask for their help. It may also help talking to another student who is studying the same subject as you. They may be able to provide you with extra support and advice.
On no account should you suffer in silence. You will not be able to make any substantial improvements in the subject if you do not ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness asking for help. It shows that you are committed to achieving the best possible outcome. If you don’t ask for assistance, it will look like you are not interested in the class and this should be avoided if you want to succeed.
Improve your study and essay writing skills:
Failing a class may not be due to an apparent lack of knowledge of the subject material. It may be to do with the fact that your essay writing skills are not strong enough. This can improve with practice. Learning how to answer and structure your essay questions is fundamental to achieving success.
An unstructured article lacks focus. A lack of focus will convey an impression that you do not understand the question. It is therefore crucial to focus some of your attention on practicing essay writing skills so you can structure a response that is clear and logical.
Don’t give up too quickly:
Sometimes it takes a considerable amount of time before we can improve our performance. If you are committed and dedicated to making a positive change, the results will eventually become apparent. If you give up too soon, you may regret it later. With perseverance, you can overcome a great many challenges in life. It is much better to see difficulties in life as challenges instead. That way, you will be able to develop a positive attitude that will help you accomplish your goals.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Rather than focusing on your feelings of frustration, take a step back and look at the possible reasons as to why you may be failing. There could be many unexplored reasons as to why your performance is suffering and it is important to take the time to find out what the cause may be.
The following tips may help you to evaluate the situation:
Time Management:
Make sure you spend an equal amount of time studying your subject topics. If a class is particularly difficult, it is more desirable to prioritise studying subjects you enjoy more. If you are not enjoying the class, it may be one of the reasons why you are not performing as well as you should be. If this is the case, try and focus more time on the difficult subject. Your grades may improve if you devote more time to understanding the more difficult elements of the course.
Talk to your course tutor:
If you are finding the course very difficult, speak to your tutor about it as soon as you can and tell them you are having a hard time understanding certain aspects of the course. Your tutor may be able to provide more support for you if you ask for their help. It may also help talking to another student who is studying the same subject as you. They may be able to provide you with extra support and advice.
On no account should you suffer in silence. You will not be able to make any substantial improvements in the subject if you do not ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness asking for help. It shows that you are committed to achieving the best possible outcome. If you don’t ask for assistance, it will look like you are not interested in the class and this should be avoided if you want to succeed.
Improve your study and essay writing skills:
Failing a class may not be due to an apparent lack of knowledge of the subject material. It may be to do with the fact that your essay writing skills are not strong enough. This can improve with practice. Learning how to answer and structure your essay questions is fundamental to achieving success.
An unstructured article lacks focus. A lack of focus will convey an impression that you do not understand the question. It is therefore crucial to focus some of your attention on practicing essay writing skills so you can structure a response that is clear and logical.
Don’t give up too quickly:
Sometimes it takes a considerable amount of time before we can improve our performance. If you are committed and dedicated to making a positive change, the results will eventually become apparent. If you give up too soon, you may regret it later. With perseverance, you can overcome a great many challenges in life. It is much better to see difficulties in life as challenges instead. That way, you will be able to develop a positive attitude that will help you accomplish your goals.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Pros of being single at college
The benefits of being single at college can have positive advantages. Your student days are often seen as the time to cut loose and enjoy life without having to worry about too many commitments. It is a time of learning and exploration and it is also a new phase in your life on your journey into adulthood. This is a time when you can find out who you are and what you want from life.
When you are involved in a relationship at college, you are emotionally committed to another person and this can be quite demanding especially when you are faced with exam pressure, deadlines and a studying schedule. Your college years are a time when you can focus on yourself as well as what you want to achieve without any unnecessary distractions.
The following points illustrate some of the benefits of being single in college:
More Freedom and Independence:
The years you spend at college is an ideal time to be single as you can learn to become completely self-reliant. When you arrive at college, it will probably be your first experience living away from home and it is important you learn to become more independent without needing the security of a relationship. When you begin to do things for yourself, your self-esteem and sense of achievement will rise as a consequence.
Increased Focus on Studying:
When you are single, you are less likely to be distracted with commitments to a relationship. College can be a very busy and demanding time and it can become increasingly difficult to juggle your dedication to studying with the emotional demands of a relationship.
The benefits of devoting full attention to your studies will eventually become apparent. Beginning a relationship with someone, especially when you are still settling into college life, may prove to be a negative distraction when it should be a positive experience. There is always time for a relationship in the future!
Time for Yourself:
Being single when you are a student can give you more free time to do what you want. If you have a busy social life around campus as well as studying and essay writing to complete, you will be glad to have some free time for yourself without having to keep a relationship on track as well!
Finding time for yourself to relax and unwind is important when you are very busy. A relationship can consume a great deal of energy and attention especially if one partner is very emotionally demanding. Make sure you prioritise your happiness and well being before that of another, especially when you have multiple commitments to deal with.
Social Life and College Dating:
When you are single, you can enjoy meeting and dating new people. It is a great chance to socialise and interact with others and you could end up making some really good friends. When you have a relationship at college, you are more likely to spend the majority of time with your partner and less time socialising which will reduce your chances of meeting new people. It is best not to focus too much on relationship commitments at college. You will want to be able to reflect on your days at college with a satisfaction that they were as fulfilling as possible!
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
When you are involved in a relationship at college, you are emotionally committed to another person and this can be quite demanding especially when you are faced with exam pressure, deadlines and a studying schedule. Your college years are a time when you can focus on yourself as well as what you want to achieve without any unnecessary distractions.
The following points illustrate some of the benefits of being single in college:
More Freedom and Independence:
The years you spend at college is an ideal time to be single as you can learn to become completely self-reliant. When you arrive at college, it will probably be your first experience living away from home and it is important you learn to become more independent without needing the security of a relationship. When you begin to do things for yourself, your self-esteem and sense of achievement will rise as a consequence.
Increased Focus on Studying:
When you are single, you are less likely to be distracted with commitments to a relationship. College can be a very busy and demanding time and it can become increasingly difficult to juggle your dedication to studying with the emotional demands of a relationship.
The benefits of devoting full attention to your studies will eventually become apparent. Beginning a relationship with someone, especially when you are still settling into college life, may prove to be a negative distraction when it should be a positive experience. There is always time for a relationship in the future!
Time for Yourself:
Being single when you are a student can give you more free time to do what you want. If you have a busy social life around campus as well as studying and essay writing to complete, you will be glad to have some free time for yourself without having to keep a relationship on track as well!
Finding time for yourself to relax and unwind is important when you are very busy. A relationship can consume a great deal of energy and attention especially if one partner is very emotionally demanding. Make sure you prioritise your happiness and well being before that of another, especially when you have multiple commitments to deal with.
Social Life and College Dating:
When you are single, you can enjoy meeting and dating new people. It is a great chance to socialise and interact with others and you could end up making some really good friends. When you have a relationship at college, you are more likely to spend the majority of time with your partner and less time socialising which will reduce your chances of meeting new people. It is best not to focus too much on relationship commitments at college. You will want to be able to reflect on your days at college with a satisfaction that they were as fulfilling as possible!
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Staying safe at college
Staying safe on college campus should always be regarded as one of your highest priorities during your time as a student and beyond. It can be very easy to neglect personal safety issues especially if you are tired and stressed.
When you become stressed, it is more likely you will make a simple mistake which could have the effect of compromising your safety on campus if you do not take specific precautions. With a little extra care and attention, the most common mistakes can be avoided if appropriate care is taken.
It therefore becomes an imperative to acknowledge the following considerations in order to stay safe on campus:
Let people know where you are and where you are going:
It is vital to inform people of your whereabouts on campus. People need to know where you are and be able to contact you if necessary. If you change your plans, it is important to let a friend or family member know where you are going to be and who you are going to be with. Communication of these details is very important especially if you are going somewhere on your own. Don’t allow yourself to become isolated without any means of making contact as this could endanger your personal safety.
Make sure you do not drink too much:
Consuming too much alcohol can seriously impair your reasoning abilities and judgement. If you are heading for a night out, make sure you do not drink too much. It is important that you remain in control and if you feel you have had enough to drink, stop! Know what your alcohol consumption limit is and do not exceed it. You can only look after your personal safety if you are completely aware of what is going on around you. Remember - you can still have a fun night out with friends without drinking to excess.
Look after the welfare of your friends on campus:
You should always try to look out for the safety of your friends on campus. If you are not sure a friend has made any plans for getting home safely, ask them and make sure they have made arrangements.
Never presume an outcome when it comes to your personal safety and that of other people. If you know one of your friends may find difficulty getting home, take steps to ensure they are not left by themselves after a night out. Walk home together or offer to give your friend a lift to their destination.
Report any suspicious or unusual behaviour:
If you see someone you do not recognise loitering around campus (especially if it is late in the evening), make sure you inform an authority figure on campus as soon as possible. If you are not sure, do not ignore it. It is better to be safe than sorry and it is always better to check. It is important to think about the welfare of other people when it comes to staying safe on campus. Your own awareness and observation can help yourself and others to stay safe on campus.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
When you become stressed, it is more likely you will make a simple mistake which could have the effect of compromising your safety on campus if you do not take specific precautions. With a little extra care and attention, the most common mistakes can be avoided if appropriate care is taken.
It therefore becomes an imperative to acknowledge the following considerations in order to stay safe on campus:
Let people know where you are and where you are going:
It is vital to inform people of your whereabouts on campus. People need to know where you are and be able to contact you if necessary. If you change your plans, it is important to let a friend or family member know where you are going to be and who you are going to be with. Communication of these details is very important especially if you are going somewhere on your own. Don’t allow yourself to become isolated without any means of making contact as this could endanger your personal safety.
Make sure you do not drink too much:
Consuming too much alcohol can seriously impair your reasoning abilities and judgement. If you are heading for a night out, make sure you do not drink too much. It is important that you remain in control and if you feel you have had enough to drink, stop! Know what your alcohol consumption limit is and do not exceed it. You can only look after your personal safety if you are completely aware of what is going on around you. Remember - you can still have a fun night out with friends without drinking to excess.
Look after the welfare of your friends on campus:
You should always try to look out for the safety of your friends on campus. If you are not sure a friend has made any plans for getting home safely, ask them and make sure they have made arrangements.
Never presume an outcome when it comes to your personal safety and that of other people. If you know one of your friends may find difficulty getting home, take steps to ensure they are not left by themselves after a night out. Walk home together or offer to give your friend a lift to their destination.
Report any suspicious or unusual behaviour:
If you see someone you do not recognise loitering around campus (especially if it is late in the evening), make sure you inform an authority figure on campus as soon as possible. If you are not sure, do not ignore it. It is better to be safe than sorry and it is always better to check. It is important to think about the welfare of other people when it comes to staying safe on campus. Your own awareness and observation can help yourself and others to stay safe on campus.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Handling long distance relationships at college
Handling long distance relationships at college is not always easy. This kind of situation can test the strength of the relationship you have with your partner and it is important the partnership is strong, emotionally secure and based on mutual trust and respect before you even consider the possibility of a long distance relationship.
This is something that requires both partners to be sure about what they want from the relationship. Relationships can be challenging enough without the added pressure of being distanced from each other so it is vital you are both committed to the relationship from the very beginning.
Make regular contact:
Thanks to mobile phones and internet technology, it is very easy to connect with loved ones and friends from all over the world. Sending a text or an email is probably one of the simplest things to do and it can help bridge the gap within a long distance relationship. It is a priority within a long distance relationship to take advantage of this medium as it can create a much needed connection with your partner and encourage consistent communication within the relationship.
Arrange to meet up whenever you can:
Sending emails and texts to your loved one is not a long term solution for establishing the security you both need within your relationship. You should both arrange to meet up whenever you can. It is very important to remember that it may not always be possible to meet up due to hectic work schedules and personal commitments you may have elsewhere.
If one partner says that he/she cannot meet up, respect that decision and refrain from suffocating your partner with demands that cannot be met at this time. Communication is vital at this point. If you do not have time to meet up, tell your partner you really love and miss them and that you cannot wait to see them again. He/she may feel slightly dejected and they will need emotional support from you to prevent insecurities from creeping into the relationship.
Holidays and Celebrations:
The holiday period is an ideal time to meet up with your partner and both of you should arrange to be together as much as possible especially if you have not found time during the college semester to meet up regularly.
It is important to meet up with your partner on special occasions such as a birthday celebration or similar event. This will show your partner that you value and appreciate what matters to them and this should help to strengthen the relationship.
Trust in the strength of your relationship:
If both partners have been together for a long period of time before entering into a long distance relationship at college, the much needed bonds of mutual trust and understanding will already be in place. This will help both partners to feel secure with each other before any external demands created by long distance puts pressure on the relationship. Insecure and emotionally needy behaviour from one partner can put a great deal of strain on a college relationship which could, eventually cause the relationship to break down irrevocably.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
This is something that requires both partners to be sure about what they want from the relationship. Relationships can be challenging enough without the added pressure of being distanced from each other so it is vital you are both committed to the relationship from the very beginning.
Make regular contact:
Thanks to mobile phones and internet technology, it is very easy to connect with loved ones and friends from all over the world. Sending a text or an email is probably one of the simplest things to do and it can help bridge the gap within a long distance relationship. It is a priority within a long distance relationship to take advantage of this medium as it can create a much needed connection with your partner and encourage consistent communication within the relationship.
Arrange to meet up whenever you can:
Sending emails and texts to your loved one is not a long term solution for establishing the security you both need within your relationship. You should both arrange to meet up whenever you can. It is very important to remember that it may not always be possible to meet up due to hectic work schedules and personal commitments you may have elsewhere.
If one partner says that he/she cannot meet up, respect that decision and refrain from suffocating your partner with demands that cannot be met at this time. Communication is vital at this point. If you do not have time to meet up, tell your partner you really love and miss them and that you cannot wait to see them again. He/she may feel slightly dejected and they will need emotional support from you to prevent insecurities from creeping into the relationship.
Holidays and Celebrations:
The holiday period is an ideal time to meet up with your partner and both of you should arrange to be together as much as possible especially if you have not found time during the college semester to meet up regularly.
It is important to meet up with your partner on special occasions such as a birthday celebration or similar event. This will show your partner that you value and appreciate what matters to them and this should help to strengthen the relationship.
Trust in the strength of your relationship:
If both partners have been together for a long period of time before entering into a long distance relationship at college, the much needed bonds of mutual trust and understanding will already be in place. This will help both partners to feel secure with each other before any external demands created by long distance puts pressure on the relationship. Insecure and emotionally needy behaviour from one partner can put a great deal of strain on a college relationship which could, eventually cause the relationship to break down irrevocably.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
College Dating
College dating doesn’t have to be expensive to be fun. Being with your partner and enjoying each other’s company is more important than spending money unnecessarily on dating. If you are dating regularly at college, you will need to make sure you do not exceed your weekly budget. If you take time to think about possible alternatives, you will find that there are many ways you can enjoy dating without breaking the bank. The more creative your ideas are, the better and more fun it will be!
Here are some ideas that may help you to save money on college dating:
Have a Romantic Night In:
After you have had a few dates, you may feel comfortable enough with your partner to invite them around to your house for a night in together. This can be a great way to enjoy dating without unnecessary expense. As well as creating more intimacy for your date, eating in will also save money on your food bill.
You can either choose to cook a meal together or if you prefer, you can order a take-out instead. In order to enhance your dating experience, you can light some scented candles to create the right atmosphere. Buy some wine and rent a good movie that you know you will both enjoy and take it from there!
Take Advantage of Student Discounts:
It is possible to have an inexpensive night out whilst dating if you know where to find reasonable student discounts. There should be some good venues around campus that have reductions for students and if you know where to go, you could have a good night out with your partner that still remains within your budget. Look out for any promotions and special offers you and your partner could take advantage of and you will find that you can have a good night out for little expense.
Look for Museums and Free Exhibitions:
If you and your partner have a mutual interest in a particular subject, it may be worthwhile visiting an exhibition together. If you are not sure where to go, have a look on the internet and see what you can find.
Within every town and city, there will always be something of historical interest that you can visit and you should explore what there is on offer. Whatever you choose to do, make sure your partner is interested and equally shares your enthusiasm or else it could be a very short date!
Make the Most of the Great Outdoors:
Going for long walks with your partner is probably one of the best ways to spend time together and it doesn’t cost you a penny. Not only will you benefit from the fresh air and exercise, you will also have time to get to know one another without too many distractions. If you both enjoy cycling or rollerblading, do it together as much as you can. The more interests you share together, the more fun you will ultimately have. Sometimes the simplest things in life are the best!
Arrange to Meet up for a Coffee and Study Together:
Studying together may not seem like the most inspirational (or fun) way to spend time together but it is an option for you to consider. As a student, you will spend the majority of your time studying and it will no doubt be the best way to strike up conversation with a prospective partner! You could either arrange to meet up and study in the library or, if you would prefer to go somewhere else, you could always meet up for a coffee instead and bring your study materials with you.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Here are some ideas that may help you to save money on college dating:
Have a Romantic Night In:
After you have had a few dates, you may feel comfortable enough with your partner to invite them around to your house for a night in together. This can be a great way to enjoy dating without unnecessary expense. As well as creating more intimacy for your date, eating in will also save money on your food bill.
You can either choose to cook a meal together or if you prefer, you can order a take-out instead. In order to enhance your dating experience, you can light some scented candles to create the right atmosphere. Buy some wine and rent a good movie that you know you will both enjoy and take it from there!
Take Advantage of Student Discounts:
It is possible to have an inexpensive night out whilst dating if you know where to find reasonable student discounts. There should be some good venues around campus that have reductions for students and if you know where to go, you could have a good night out with your partner that still remains within your budget. Look out for any promotions and special offers you and your partner could take advantage of and you will find that you can have a good night out for little expense.
Look for Museums and Free Exhibitions:
If you and your partner have a mutual interest in a particular subject, it may be worthwhile visiting an exhibition together. If you are not sure where to go, have a look on the internet and see what you can find.
Within every town and city, there will always be something of historical interest that you can visit and you should explore what there is on offer. Whatever you choose to do, make sure your partner is interested and equally shares your enthusiasm or else it could be a very short date!
Make the Most of the Great Outdoors:
Going for long walks with your partner is probably one of the best ways to spend time together and it doesn’t cost you a penny. Not only will you benefit from the fresh air and exercise, you will also have time to get to know one another without too many distractions. If you both enjoy cycling or rollerblading, do it together as much as you can. The more interests you share together, the more fun you will ultimately have. Sometimes the simplest things in life are the best!
Arrange to Meet up for a Coffee and Study Together:
Studying together may not seem like the most inspirational (or fun) way to spend time together but it is an option for you to consider. As a student, you will spend the majority of your time studying and it will no doubt be the best way to strike up conversation with a prospective partner! You could either arrange to meet up and study in the library or, if you would prefer to go somewhere else, you could always meet up for a coffee instead and bring your study materials with you.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Sunday, 22 November 2009
Dealing with Stress
'Stress' - is my least favourite word. Just saying it makes my heart race! I don't mean to sound like a pessimist - not at all but unfortunately, nowadays it is an unavoidable consequence of modern day living. How can we take steps to be our own stress managers?
1) Prioritise your daily tasks in order of importance.
You have a much better chance of being able to deal with your daily tasks if you are organised. What is the most important task that requires your attention? If you can manage your workload, you will be able to prevent stress from creeping up on you!
2) Time Management.
Make sure you don't take on too much work all at once. Remember - you are a human being and you can only deal with so many things! If your boss wants you to take on more responsibility at work, don't simply say 'yes' without due consideration. Are you ready for such a big commitment? Is this what you really want? Make sure you know what your priorities are before making this kind of decision. You don't want to have regrets!
3) Get enough sleep.
Buring the midnight oil too much, isn't good for your health. You will find it much easier to deal with the next day if you have had enough sleep the previous night. If you have a seminar or a presentation to give at work, leave enough time to prepare for it wihout relying on 'all nighters' to see you through.
4) Eat healthily and regularly.
If you have are under a lot of pressure, your body will need energy to function at the optimum level. Skipping meals should be avoided if you want to be able to work to your full potential. Try to avoid sugar and caffine as they will not be able to provide the nourishment your body needs.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
1) Prioritise your daily tasks in order of importance.
You have a much better chance of being able to deal with your daily tasks if you are organised. What is the most important task that requires your attention? If you can manage your workload, you will be able to prevent stress from creeping up on you!
2) Time Management.
Make sure you don't take on too much work all at once. Remember - you are a human being and you can only deal with so many things! If your boss wants you to take on more responsibility at work, don't simply say 'yes' without due consideration. Are you ready for such a big commitment? Is this what you really want? Make sure you know what your priorities are before making this kind of decision. You don't want to have regrets!
3) Get enough sleep.
Buring the midnight oil too much, isn't good for your health. You will find it much easier to deal with the next day if you have had enough sleep the previous night. If you have a seminar or a presentation to give at work, leave enough time to prepare for it wihout relying on 'all nighters' to see you through.
4) Eat healthily and regularly.
If you have are under a lot of pressure, your body will need energy to function at the optimum level. Skipping meals should be avoided if you want to be able to work to your full potential. Try to avoid sugar and caffine as they will not be able to provide the nourishment your body needs.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
Saturday, 21 November 2009
Creating a harmonious and happy marriage.
Due to hectic work schedules and the pressure of multiple commitments, marriage quality may suffer as a consequence. Making time for each other should be a priority especially if you have a family to look after. We all have a 'to do' list and it is important that list prioritises your most important considerations for your happiness and wellbeing and that of your partner. So, what are the most important factors when it comes to relationship maintenance?
Communication:
It is vital you communicate regularly with your partner especially if something is causing a problem in your relationship. The worst thing to do is keep silent as your partner will not understand what is wrong. As soon as you communicate with your partner, you are already taking important steps to strengthen your relationship in the best way possible.
Honesty:
Cultivate honesty in your relationship. Don't tell your partner what they want to hear. Be truthful and emcourage your partner to do the same. Openness and honesty will ensure that you and your partner can feel comfortable being yourselves in each other's company.
Share responsibility:
Make sure you and your partner share responsibilities. If you feel like you are the one carrying the majority of the workload, sit down with your partner and discuss it with each other. Don't the let the situation deteriorate by ignoring the problem. Come to an agreement with your partner as soon as possible and explain why you feel you need extra help and support.
Make time for each other:
We all have very busy lives and it is therefore extremely important to make time for your relationship. It is so easy to be snowed under with work commitments and deadlines and it can take over our lives completely if we are not careful. Arrange a romantic night together in which the two of you can relax and enjoy each other's company.
Copyright Christina McDonald 2009
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